Friday, August 17, 2007

The other side of the coin

So here I enter in my review of Madden 08.

Lets see now. I know that this game is awesome but yet I fear it lacks a permanent place on the charts. There are some new tricks and features but this is the point at which the game needs not to be released on PS2 anymore. The promise of this game is that it packs more features and better graphics and PS2 is getting tapped out oin this field. For some people, we'll call them my friends, can look at all these new features and their pants begin to shrink. Let me give you an example:
In my first of 2 staggering defeats at the hand of RDukes, I was treated to not only electronic play by play from Madden and Gifford but also from RDukes. It was like stereo plus one. When the magnanimous RDukes would score he would quickly remind me of who he used and the size of their manhood just before the recap by the computerized Gifford. "OH!!!! A 74 yard run by Vernon Davis!!! He's got big junk!" and other proclamations were standard. If the situation were to be reversed I would simply state that I scored with triangle and that I really had no information regarding his penile length.

Although the first game was a slaughter I kept the second game close. I made sure to mask most of my inability by claiming, "I hit the wrong button" or "He went the wrong way." These are nearly impossible to prove wrong. In all honesty as far as being engrossed enough in sports to actually know the names of players and their position I would rank somewhere near the bottom. I think I am right between people in a permanent vegetative state and your mom. All things considered I am still as awesome as I was before despite my lacking skill in Madden 1984-2008.

Over all the game is ok. Its no Oregon Trail but it will do.

Addendum by R-Dukes to make this poor excuse of a post better...
I guess if I sucked ass at a game, I'd also claim that it wasn't awesome. The fact of the matter is, however, that Madden '08 is more awesome than every other Madden game due to the fact that the Bears are so much better in this game. Hester at receiver...unreal. As an aside, the first play of my new Madden season, Hester ran the kickoff back for 94 yards for the score. But moving on...

And since D-Bag Misanthrope decided to cry about his trouncing in Madden, I thought I should add a bit more context. First, he had the superior teams on paper.
Game 1: He was the Saints, and I was the 49ers.
Game 2: He was the Patriots, and I was the J-E-T-S, Jets.

I jibber-jabbered the whole time, in part, because I was stoned. Plus, when you're whooping someone's ass, it's common courtesy to point out exactly how you are doing so. And can I help it if Vernon Davis has a huge dong (at least that's what I'm hearing from Misanthrope's Mom).

But let's get off moms, 'cause I just got my balls off of yours.

Auidi 5000.


RDukes said...

Um, Mr. OM, I believe you kept the second game close because you shortened the quarter lengths down from 5 minutes to 3 minutes. That extra 8 minutes would've turned the game into a blow out.

an optimistic misanthrope said...

You agreed to the terms and youre a pussy.

erik said...

i feel like i'm in the room with you guys. it's pretty awesome.

Zachary said...

While this blog IS awesome - there's not just regular enough awesome updates. I feel like it's not meeting my "awesome" needs. I'm just saying.