Wednesday, October 31, 2007

I'm no Chomsky, but bad words on TV = awesome.

I have to admit, one of the reasons I love most all shows on HBO is the filthy, filthy language (and boobies, or more recently on "Tell Me You Love Me", old man cock). I swear a whole bunch, and I like it when the TV, movies, and books I consume use colorful language as well. Rings more true to me.

So, I've been pleasantly surprised with recent developments in non-HBO TV. Now, shows on FX like "Rescue Me", "Nip/Tuck", and "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" have used everything minus the Fuck-bomb for a while now. Shit, pussy, bitch, asshole: all are fair game in those shows, and I appreciate that. The good shows plus the swearing (and partial nudity) almost get it up to HBO territory.

But I post today to applaud the uptick in inappropriate language on other channels like CW and TBS. They still aren't going all the way, but I'm hearing more bitches and, more importantly, douche bags. In fact, the slightly above-average "My Boys" on TBS had an entire episode dealing with heavy subject matter: one of the main characters was acting like a "douche bag". Now that's terrific television.

I can only hope that the networks continue down this path toward filth. My life will be more enjoyable. And, my inappropriate language will become more mainstream.

So fuck you and your douche bag kids, bitches.

(Please note that I resisted posting an image of a douche bag to accompany this post. I'd like folks to know, however, that a Google image search for "douche bag" comes up with a picture of Bill O'Reilly and a few pictures of the lead singer from 'Thrope's favorite band in the world, Creed.)

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Fuck me.

Remember when I posted about how great The Wire was a while back. Well, I totally jinxed the show. Apparently, the upcoming 5th season will be the last. It'll focus on the media, and I'm certain it will be awesome.

Theoretically, I'm all for shows ending on top rather than dragging on. But it still sucks, especially considering a mediocre season of The Wire would be better than most anything else on television. I could've easily tolerated many more seasons of The Sopranos.

I can only hope that David Simon and his creative partner Ed Burns (no, not the Ed Burns my wife fantasizes about) create something else for HBO. (Update: Having finished the long, long article I link to below, it looks as though Simon and Burns will begin work on an Iraq-themed miniseries for HBO.)

In case you won't take my word for how awesome the show is, take a look at what a slightly higher-brow publication, The New Yorker, has to say about the show.

For those who think I'm overreacting, please consider that I've lost some great HBO programs over the past year or so: The Sopranos, Deadwood, Rome, John From Cincinnati, and even Six Feet Under (though it's not on par with the others listed here). This is cramping my Sunday night style. HBO, you got some work to do.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Just in case your Monday wasn't good enough..

I know some of you had a great day and this could make it that much better. I know its not a personally picked picture of a miniature penis like Dukes would offer but it does have the same effect...

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Congrats to 'Thrope for finally getting a Wii.

Those of us who have known blog contributor Optimistic Misanthrope have long been aware of his problem...

He lacked a Wii.

It was always kind of awkward. He just never had that swagger that comes with having a Wii. He wouldn't even bring girls back to his apartment because of this deficiency.

We're so proud of him. He finally got his Wii. It's good that we can joke about it now.

Next question: when will 'Thrope get some matching balls?

Thursday, October 18, 2007


So last night after what seemed like hours of waiting I got impatient enough to search out a Wii. Trudging through traffic on Western Ave I went to 3 different Targets and 1 Best Buy without any luck. The out of the corner of my eye I spyed a gaining store in the parking lot of the Target on Addison. Low and behold they had one and I made my purchase!

My review is as follows...

I played the sports games that it came with and after I had overcome the initial learning curve I can say it was pretty cool. Down side to it is that it may become less cool as time goes on but for now its great. The boxing is fun and so is the baseball. Golf is a little picky with your follow through. To a small extent the bowling suffers from this same problem but it is easier to overcome.

In my purchase I also bought the new Zelda game. This is the complete opposite from the sports games as I promptly sat down and turned into a giant sloth while playing. Nonetheless it was a good buy.

If you need more convincing if this was a good purchase versus buying a PS3 or an Xbox look at this....

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Can I get a.....

Do you know whats not awesome?

Trying to buy something that is hard to find. I have been trying for the last couple days and all I am left with is one question...

Can a brother get a Wii?

By the topic of this post you can guess the answer to that question. I have taken to extreme measures in order to procure one. I have installed a widget on my desktop that will notify me when certain retailers have one in stock. I also have bookmarked anther page that will show me similar results. I am looking into buying one via EBay but I am still a little sketchy on that avenue.
As of today there was one retailer that had one available and that was Walmart. First of all its Walmart (automatic disqualification). Secondly the bundle they were offering was $650 before taxes. Although this was a "good deal" it is still a little more that I wanted to spend. If jesus would stop hating me for a minute I may be able to get one.

AS of right now I am resolved to get one soon but that may wait based on other needs. Nonetheless though I am going to get one of those bastards before the spring when they release a Star Wars game based on using lightsabers. In complete contrast to this post the fact that there will be a lightsaber game is TOTALLY FUCKING AWESOME!!!11!

Monday, October 15, 2007

I needed more Cowbell, but the Dude didn't oblige.

We're getting a bit heavy on YouTube clips, but that's mostly because the two contributors for this blog are too lazy to write a post without a prop to comment on. In keeping with that tradition...

I attended a wedding the other night. It was at a swank place. And that can only mean one thing: top-shelf liquor and an open bar. Because I'm a man of limited means, I like to take advantage of these situations by starting my night with a few Jameson's on the rocks. Then I move on to Heineken or Amstel Light, depending on my mood. I did just that and as tends to happen, I reached the awesome zone. For those not familiar, the awesome zone is that perfect moment while drinking when you have a good buzz going but yet are still coherent enough to discuss political philosophy, if necessary. It's a great place to be, and 2 Jameson's will usually get me there.

Unfortunately, I wasn't in the awesome zone for long. I spent maybe a half hour there before moving on to, well, just being drunk. Thankfully, there were plenty of folks more drunk than me. However, I was with the in-laws (who rarely, if ever, enter the awesome zone, let alone get drunk), so I still had to watch myself.

I didn't do anything to get me in trouble the next day. I did bust out a few sweet dance moves (stole Seth Rogen's rolling dice move from Knocked Up--used it almost exclusively, in fact). Then I noticed that the live band had a cowbell player. I tried so hard to get that dude to bang the fuck out of that thing by quoting Chris Walken's Bruce Dickenson in that awesome SNL clip. I was unsuccessful the first time. But that didn't stop me. I tried three more times, but apparently the douche bag hadn't seen the SNL sketch I was referencing.

Or, maybe the guy was just trying to do his job and was ignoring me. From my perspective, though, he missed an opportunity to be awesome. In honor of my attempt, I share the "More Cowbell" clip.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Official Friday Awesomeness

I appreciate 'Thrope getting the party started right for Friday with some good 'ol Giraffe fighting. In keeping with that theme, here are some humans actually fighting.

And this, my friends, is the reason hockey, when played properly (like in this clip), is an awesome sport. It doesn't get more awesome than dudes on skates trying to kick the shit out of each other. This was all in one game.

Tonight at RDukes' soccer game (we won both, thank you very much), a hockey game broke out when some douche stupidly threw a punch at one of our players. We had more guys, however, and we were bigger (and by bigger, I basically mean fatter). What an idiot. He got put on the ground ASAP.

Then one of my buddies jumped in an "attempt" to break up the fight. How did he do that? By punching some other guy in the back of the head. Pretty sure he broke his hand. So what do we learn from this incident? 3 things.

1. Don't throw a punch when the other team has more guys and are bigger than your team.

2. Don't try to break up a fight by throwing an additional punch (doesn't really send the right message).

3. Don't punch people in the back of their head, because it's more likely than not harder than your fist (unless you're talking about a baby's head--which you probably shouldn't be punching anyhow).

Man, I drops knowledge.

Pre-Friday Awesomeness

I wish I can see more things like this...I think this could be Michael Vick's next Federal Offense.....

Friday, October 5, 2007

What's more awesome than being a God of War?

Nuthin'. That's what.

Just playing God of War II for the ol' PS2, and it's pretty sick. I'm on a mission of revenge against Zeus, that motherfucker who sent me to Hades. What a prick.

Only downside to being a God of War...sore thumb.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Awesome/Not Awesome Highlights from Yesterday

Awesome: getting on a flight with 137 seats and only 34 people.

Bonus Awesome: your bag waiting for you at the baggage claim.

Not Awesome: Cubs losing to the Douche-backs last night.

Bonus Not Awesome: Being so tired that you fall asleep in the 8th inning...ruining any chance of a Cubs rally. I take full responsibility for the loss.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

It all begins tonight...

Cubs play the Diamondbacks tonight at 9 CST.... and in case RDukes still had any hope Id like to remind him of the following:

But so he doesnt get too mad....

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Guide to the election 2008 style

Way back in November of 2008 I wish I had this when I was considering which person to vote for...

Guide to the Democratic Candidates