Thursday, February 28, 2008

$5 to anyone who can tell me...

Where is the largest room in the world? Yeah, room. Try to find that shit. Impossible. (Unless, of course, I'm just an idiot).

Monday, February 25, 2008

Training for my upcoming bout.

I know the ones of readers out there are dying to hear about the training for my upcoming boxing exhibition is going. In short, it's going great. I haven't had to change my eating or drinking or drugging habits one bit. In fact, sometimes I drink a bit before training!

But seriously, I'm all about focus for this upcoming bout against Eric Roberts...yes, that Eric Roberts. The one who went to Conant High School (and who may or may not have starred in 1989's Best of the Best), the same school of my wife.

Needless to say, I've been pumping HGH to prepare for the fight. I've also been training with Steve Brule.

Additionally, I'm sparring with the bouncer from Matilda's. And my buddy from Matilda's isn't the best sparring partner. He likes to swing for the fences (which my nose doesn't appreciate as evidenced by the blood trickling down to the moustache). In fact, the other day, more seasoned guys around the ring suggested we (read: him) take it down a notch since this was only training. Though I aprreciated getting popped in the nose a few times, I have to agree, taking it down a level would be nice. I mean, we both suck. The least we can do is attempt to get better at actually boxing.

But seriously. I'm looking forward to whooping up on Julia Roberts' brother. Best of the Best? How about Awesomest of the Awesomest?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Fuck your hope. Let's get Real.

Disclaimer: Ah. Today's political campaigns are basically just tit-for-tat bullshit that have little to do with qualifications or potential for leadership. If one campaign sends more mail to you, or buys more ad time, that candidate is likely to win. I'm an Obama supporter, so take what I say with appropriate grain of salt.

Je-sus Christ. Am I really hearing Hillary's campaign trying to stomp out the hope and desires of young people? She's losing. I get it. She's going to try anything to get back in this thing. But c'mon, busting out the idealist vs. realist argument lets me know exactly what kind of President she would be...check this new line of attack:

Speaking at Hunter College in Manhattan on Wednesday morning, Mrs. Clinton said Mr. Obama was running on a thin resume and empty rhetoric. “It is time to get real,” she said. “To get real about how we actually win this election and get real about the challenges facing America. It’s time we moved from good words to good works, from sound bites to sound solutions.”

That's some shit that old people say to young folks..."All right, son, get your head out of the clouds. You're not going to college. Now grab your lunch pail and get to the factory." Sheez. You'd think Barck was talking about ending the Arab-Israeli conflict the way she's trying to smack him down. He's basically calling for the same thing Hillary's calling for. Only difference: he says it ten times better.

But I forgot that Hillary's the one true candidate talking about real solutions. Such as...Hillary knowing what it's like to work on the "night shift" as her new ad and messaging suggests. Growing up in Park Ridge must've been tough. I mean rich people live there now, but who knows what it was like 40 years ago...oh wait, it was full of rich "night shift" workers. And working nights to pay for Yale Law School must've been tough. (Rule of thumb: middle and working class communities don't have country clubs).

See, I don't take any candidate for office's claims to seriously. What's the point? But when you start attacking a message that's getting young people involved and hopeful about politics, I got a fucking problem with that. A big fucking problem. In fact, I'd rather hear you question Barack's blackness than try to stomp out a generation's call, hope, and desire for change. Real classy, lady.

Why don't you and your old-as-fuck supporters go fuck yourselves. Not a question.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

For One Night Only...

I stand in support of the people of Wisconsin. Though one may rightly question their wisdom on everything else, and especially in football, they proved wise beyond there geographical boundaries in supporting Barack. Obama.

A toast to the cheddar-heads! Yah hey dare!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

I'm what they call a "streaky" poster.

So be sure to read the posts below.

But moving on. I saw Chris Rock Friday evening. He was great. And I learned the only time that white folks can use the "n" word. I'll fill you honkey's in later on when you can be a racist.

For now, however, I'd like to hear when the 4 of you think it's acceptable for whitey to use the "n" word.

Only if you're not a racist.

I had the opportunity to watch Barack's speech after his huge wins in the Potomac primaries last week with a bunch of other progressives. It was great to watch his beauty with other like-minds. So, in case you missed his rousing remarks from Packerland, here's a clip from his website. I encourage you to look for the speech in its entirety because it was truly brilliant.

And for the haters, feel free to search for Hillary or McCain's crap-ass speeches after the MD, VA, and DC primaries. I'm sure they were terrific.

I'm hoping this isn't just a translation issue.

So, in breaking with our fine tradition of in-depth political analysis by way of "Daily Show" clips, I have an actual quote from the Chicago Tribune's political blog to deconstruct. Apparently, President Bush recently visited Tanzania. Whilst there, he was asked a question about the popularity of Barack Obama amongst Africans. He deflected the question to his host, the Tanzanian President, who said this:

“Well, I don't think I can venture into that territory, either,’’ Kikwete replied. “Of course, people talk with excitement of Obama -- well, our excitement is that President Bush is at the end of his term, and the U.S. is going to get a new president, whoever that one is. For us, the most important thing is, let him be as good friend of Africa as President Bush has been.’’

So, did I just read that the President of Tanzania, who is seemingly supportive of President Bush, said that his people are as excited about Barack Obama as they are to see the George W. Bush's tenure end? I truly hope this was an accurate translation. Because it's classic.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Youre going to have to talk to my supervisor...

Since the Christmas Poo, Mr. Dukes, wont post often enough I am left to continue the tradition of including a video with each post. Essentially there is no real hope on either side of the line when it comes to this year’s election. Billary and Hobama will be tied until the convention less the super delegates jump over en mass. And on the Republican side the winner is going to be McCain. If you are looking for a further explanation of the issues on the Republican side just watch below...

In my eyes we are in a time of strange political happening and I hope we can come out ahead.

Oh yeah Dukes' real identity is that of Andy Stumpf. Just in case you wanted to send him some hate mail or some other kind of fan mail.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Yeah...this is the problem.

With the Super-Duper Tuesday approaching, I figured I'd drop some knowledge bombs on fools. So, this is a chicken and egg situation: Did negative ads and direct mail make the voters more dumb? Or, are voters just dumb enough to make these political tactics effective? I think "A Daily Show" nails it.

It's both, but those guys are fucking douchebags.